Me & My Bogart

Back in 2013, I was a down and out man. I didn’t know this at the time. But in hindsight, I am now able to understand my state of mind at the time and how my vulnerability and insecurity influenced probably the best decision I’ve ever made. I used to have an incredible girlfriend. A partner in life. I thought that this was it and that I would end up marrying her and raise beautiful children with her. Little did I know, life had a different plan for me. When I lost my job in 2012 due to retrenchment, she left me. I thought she loved me for me but in actual fact, she couldn’t handle a hic-up. She couldn’t stand by me while I worked through this dark and difficult time. Instead, she decided that she couldn’t imagine being financially uncomfortable for a little while until I could get back up onto my feet. The loss of her and my job crushed me. I wore old clothes and moped around feeling sorry for myself. I felt like G-d owed me. I was angry! I said WHY G-d, Why? I didn’t deserve any of it. I was a church-going man who expected to have a family who I would support and love. The whole situation was so emasculating. How was I even supposed to move on feeling like less than a man. My self-loathing thoughts made me spiral into a deep, dark hole. Nothing mattered. All I could see was misery. I felt like I deserved nothing. I WAS nothing. One day I went to Eastgate Shopping Centre. I was going to see a movie! Yes, on my own. It was a Saturday and people all around me were smiling, shopping, chatting and just enjoying their day off. I had had a good 6 months off. Still no job, and if I’m honest, I wasn’t trying very hard. I walked past a Bogart Man store. I saw a sales poster in the window depicting a MAN. A REAL MAN. He seemed so happy, laughing holding what looked like a whiskey, a woman beside him with his arm around her while she tops up his drink. I thought to myself, “do these people really sell this dream?” I felt angry again because I couldn’t understand how clothes can buy you happiness. I was angry because I had spent so much hard earned money in the past on good clothing and look what happened to me! I walked in there out of pure frustration, I wanted to TEST them. How can you stupid little pieces of fabric change a life! You bunch of liars. I walked in there arrogant as I looked around. Portraying an image of “I can have anything I want here”. I wanted to feel like I “COULD” again. I was seeking validation. Craving that old feeling of “I can have what i want, if I like it.” I wanted to LIKE nothing so that it wouldn’t even be an option to purchase, had I even had the funds. I was greeted by a warm friendly face, who asked if he could help me. In my mind I was like: “you have no idea how much help I need”. But what I said was, “No, I’m browsing.” The gentle face came toward me 2 minutes later with a suit they had just unpacked. It wasn’t on the floor yet and it was my size. The Face said, “Sir, would you like to try this suit on? I think it would look so good on you. You are tall and you can pull off this blue colour”. I never ever imagined blue to be my colour. But seeking that GOOD feeling, the feeling of success, I reluctantly said “OK.” After all, I did have some time to kill. I came out of the change room looking and feeling like I was in a magazine! The Face smiled behind me. I could see it in my reflection. The Face said: “take it. You can’t look like this and walk out of here looking the way you came in”. Suddenly I realized that he could see the frumpy clothes I was wearing before, and that my whole arrogant ‘i-can-have-what-i-like’ act was not fooling anyone. The Face saw through me. And didn’t judge me. The money I had left in my account was literally IT. This had to get me by until I found my next source of income. I bought that suit. I actually walked out of the store wearing it because The Face said that I should. I proceeded to the nearest coffee shop as I still had 30 minutes left ‘til my movie. I was writing in my notebook. Working out some things. Shuffling around my diminished finances and writing down options of what I could do next; apply for a loan, sell my home, etc. I went to the bathroom and left my notebook open next to my sunglasses and my cup of coffee. When I came back a man was sitting at my table! It was like looking at a reflection of myself an hour ago before my Bogart splurge. He said to me, “I’m so sorry to pry, but I saw a part of your page that caught my eye. It seems like you are helping someone with options, and I am all out of options. I assume that you are a financial advisor of sorts and I really need your help.” “Your suit tells me that you know what you’re doing”, he said with a soft and desperate smile. This took me by surprise! I didn’t immediately correct him. I couldn’t crush his last hope of me helping him. I didn’t want to shatter what he had left in him to actually approach me, I simply could not tell him that I was in the same boat as him. I played along. I sat with him and he told me his story. I got all of his documentation and all of the relevant details about him and his finances. This man had more than a “financial advisor”. He had a friend and somebody who believed in him. And I found that in him too. I also needed that friend and confidant. I did actually HAVE real ideas and options for him to do, so I wasn’t scamming him or talking s**t to him. This man really did stand a chance in life! 4 months later, Jabu started up his own service company. He is now a successful wedding and events caterer! Jabu was so grateful toward me that he gave me shares in his business. Not only that, I am now a financial advisor for 20 different successful business entrepreneurs! I found my calling that I was not even aware of! I had no idea that I knew more about finances than other people. I had no idea that I had this talent and power to help people achieve their full potential in their careers. All because of how successful and talented that suit made me seem. The fulfillment is like no other. And today I sit proudly in my OFFICE wearing my 12th Bogart suit. Sleeping next to my wife at nights. I feel proud. I feel blessed. I am a Bogart Man.

Tagged with: Bogart Man Style

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